Two friends:
- What is it: it weighs 500 pounds, it provides heat during the winter but hangs on the tree during the summer?
- ???
- It is a stove.
- A stove that hangs on a tree?
- Why does it matter to you where I keep my stove during the summer.
- What is it: it weighs 500 pounds, it provides heat during the winter but hangs on the tree during the summer?
- ???
- It is a stove.
- A stove that hangs on a tree?
- Why does it matter to you where I keep my stove during the summer.
A man at the doctors:
-Doctor, I have diarrhea and it won’t go away!
-Did you try using a lemon?
-Yes I did, but when I removed it, it started again!
-Doctor, I have diarrhea and it won’t go away!
-Did you try using a lemon?
-Yes I did, but when I removed it, it started again!
- Mummy, mummy, does a lemon have a beak?
- No it doesn't my son.
- Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed.
- No it doesn't my son.
- Oops, so it was a canary that I squeezed.
A man is driving on a city bus with a newspaper on his knee. From time to time, he rips a piece off, ripping that piece into smaller ones and throwing them out the window. A passenger standing near him asks:
-Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window?
-I’m chasing away the elephants
-Chasing elephants? There aren’t elephants in the city.
-Well that means it's working!
-Excuse me, why are you throwing pieces of paper out the window?
-I’m chasing away the elephants
-Chasing elephants? There aren’t elephants in the city.
-Well that means it's working!
Two friends:
- I heard that you have made a band.
- Yes, it's a quartet.
- How many of you are there?
- There are three.
- Three?
- Me and my brother.
- You have a brother?
- No, why do you ask?
- I heard that you have made a band.
- Yes, it's a quartet.
- How many of you are there?
- There are three.
- Three?
- Me and my brother.
- You have a brother?
- No, why do you ask?
All is a shitting, except the pissing, but the pissing becomes a shitting if you piss against the wind.
- Why didn't the sailors play cards?
- Because the captain was sitting on the deck.
- Because the captain was sitting on the deck.
- Why dwarfs laugh while they play the soccer?
- Because the grass tickles their balls!
- Because the grass tickles their balls!
- What is the difference between the tires Good Year and 365 used condoms?
- 365 used condoms are VERY good year.
- 365 used condoms are VERY good year.
- What Bill Gates' wife says him when they make love?
- Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.
- Bill, you are so MICRO, you are so SOFT.
A group of spermatozoa march. Unexpectedly, the spermatozoon guides stops:
- Stop! Treason! The ass!!!
- Stop! Treason! The ass!!!
- Who has invented the love?
- The poor, so they can fuck for free.
- The poor, so they can fuck for free.
Two prostitutes, after Christmas holidays:
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.
- What did you ask Santa Claus to give you?
- Hundred dollars, as usual.
Good: Your wife is pregnant.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.
Bad: She is expecting triplets.
Very bad: You were sterilized five years ago.
Good: Your wife doesn't talk to you.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.
Bad: She wants divorce.
Very bad: She is a lawyer.
Good: Your son is growing up.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.
Bad: He has a relationship with a whore from the neighborhood.
Very bad: Just like you.
Good: You are explaining to your daughter about birds and bees.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.
Bad: She interrupts you.
Very bad: And corrects you.
Good: Your son has a serious relationship.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.
Bad: The relationship is with a man.
Very bad: With your best friend.
Good: Your daughter has a good job.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.
Bad: She is a whore.
Very bad: She earns much more than you.
No comments:
Post a Comment